Dark Comedy: He's gone?
by SPG inc
Summary: DC2 fic. What happens to Cedric when he leaves the shop? I've no idea so I made up this rubbish to pass the time. Enjoy!


Got bored while I was at work so I came up with this. Please R n R

**He's Gone?**

Cedric shuddered as he heard Max say "This is a pretty specialised hose attachment."

"_Man, what kind of person says something like that. Oh well, I shouldn't be surprised. The day he produced that 4 foot wrench from his pocket told me he was nuts."_

Cedric stared stupidly at the wall for a while, then looked over at Max.

"Lazy little cretin. Sleeping on the job."

Cedric spent the next few hours throwing stuff at Max so he'd wake up. However, being the specky old fool he was, managed to throw everything in the wrong direction.

"The heck with this. I'm going out." Cedric threw his book randomly over his shoulder as he left, which landed perfectly on Max's alarm clock, smashing the alarm to pieces.

Cedric wandered around the town, as always looking so bored it would take a rampaging elephant to get his attention. After a while he ended up outside City Hall where Flotsam and his clowns were setting up the tent. Well the clowns were setting it up, Flotsam was dancing around and laughing like a drunken hyena.

"Ho Ho!" He yelled and pin Cedric to the ground before the old man could run for cover. "Are you coming to the show tonight? It's going to be wonderful."

"Don't think so Joker. Now go annoy Batman." Cedric replied

"But wait. You haven't seen my new trick." Flotsam jumped up and opened his pocket. Halloween promptly jumped out and started attacking random people.

"Great, another pocket weirdo." Cedric groaned as he dodged flying limbs and ran into the City Hall.

On the way in he met the Mayor's daughter.

"Hi Ced. Is it true you and my Dad go a long way ba…"

Cedric punched her in the face.

"No one calls me Ced!"

As he left, he heard her say "Ohhh. What was that?"

Deciding it would be best not to tell her, he said "It's the Spheda. Once a few of them are fixed you'll feel better."

"Oh right" she said "I'll just stand here till some gullible twit comes to help me."

Cedric went to the Mayor's office but all he found was a note saying _'I am cowering in the circus tent. Please someone save me.'_

"He he, like I care." Cedric said as he tour up the note.

As Cedric walked out of the City Hall, a young boy with red hair came up to him and said in a spooky voice "Cedric, Max needs your help if he is to overcome the evil in this world. I have to tell you that…"

Cedric brained him with a Digi Hammer.

"What a stupid haircut, and put some pants on you filthy little creep."

While he walked away laughing, the boy looked up and said "You've failed the test."

As Cedric left the town square (which incidentally was circle shaped) Max barged over Cedric.

"Cedric! You idiot! Why didn't you wake me!"

Max quickly pounded Cedric then ran for the Circus tent. Cedric got up, his face exactly the same as it was before, and headed back to his shop.

Several uneventful hours later, Cedric heard strange noises coming from the door that lead to the sewer.

"That's strange." Cedric said "It sounds like a person being chased by a rampaging elephant."

Cedric looked at the rather rubbish ridepod.

"Yeah, I think I'll go down there and see if there's anyone to beat up. But before I go I need to name this hunk of junk.

Just then, the man known as SPG inc. walked in and said "Hey Ced. Since the writer of this fic is called Steve, why not name it after him?"

Cedric considered several answers to the question, including killing this guy for calling him Ced. But since he was the fic writer, he didn't risk it.

"Okay then. Down to the sewers with Steve"

As the door opened and the smells nearly made Cedric pass out, SPG said 'By the way Ced, why do you have a secret entrance to the sewers in your shop? What do you do down there?"

Cedric went pale.

"Er… I… er………….DON'T CALL ME CED!"Cedric thundered off into the tunnel.

_The End?_

Well people, that's what happens when you get bored at work. A word of advice- don't work for insurance companies

Now, you knowwhat to do. Review this story and I don't care if you flame me like there's no tomorrow.


End file.
